Welcome to RISE UP, where every other Friday I share one tip for reaching your potential and building a legendary revenue career.
I love metrics.
And data. And numbers. And stats.
Tie these metrics to goals and KPIs, and I’m a kid in a candy store. A fish in water. A CEO at Clari.
All the above — coupled with strong leadership — are keys to running a successful business. They’ve been proven over and over again to be effective.
So why don’t we apply similar metrics to our personal relationships?
It may sound a bit nerdy, but that’s exactly what I did a few years ago, and it’s forever changed my relationship with my partner, Julie. The parallels between being a CEO and being a partner are more significant than you might think.
Here are the four metrics I implemented.
1. Created a safe space for communication & feedback
Successful teams take time to connect outside of the day-to-day deals in the office (or virtual workspace).
Creating the same connection and feedback opportunities is equally important in a personal partnership.
Julie and I function best as a team if we have a few hours, at least once a month, to connect — without the distractions of the "transactional moments” (kid’s schedules, eating dinner, etc.). Our distraction-free connect happens best while hiking.
If we don’t do this, life (and our relationship) can get a little chaotic.
A monthly hike — just the two of us — has become a KPI in our relationship.
At work, we strive to create a safe space for our employees to speak up, ask for the support they need, and make suggestions about improving the business. We need to do the same in our relationships.
Are we listening? Are we acknowledging? Are we allowing them to have the floor and evolve their critical thinking skills?
In personal relationships, as in the workplace, toxicity blooms without an emotionally safe space. There is a similar paradigm with your family. So through many hikes, bike rides, dinners – we go deep on ensuring we are creating safety.
Now that we’ve established clear communication, it’s time to set goals.
2. Set goals for growth
Setting business goals and objectives is like programming your GPS — they point your organization in the right direction and ensure your team is on the best course.
The same concept holds for personal relationships: goal setting helps fosters growth and deepens your connection to other humans.
For Julie and me, “goals and objectives” meant setting milestones. Once a quarter, we checked in. Did we hike this month or last? If not, why not? What do we do next month to get back on track?
Our weekly Thursday date nights went on the KPI list too. We tracked our date night win rates. (I know, it’s the Clari in me.)
Our biggest lesson learned? Holding each other accountable and prioritizing what we need to make this relationship thrive is critical to a successful relationship.
3. Divvy up roles and responsibilities
Dig into any job description (yes, Clari is hiring!), and you’ll see some form of “roles & responsibilities” included.
Without clearly-defined roles and responsibilities, everyone would be doing everything (or everyone would do nothing). Or, more likely, there will be unnecessary inefficiencies and overlap.
Like any organization, relationships also require a clear boundary on one’s roles and responsibilities — the key is playing into your partner's strengths.
In our house, we refer to Julie as the “Commissioner of Relaxation and Vacation.” She starts booking Christmas plans in the summer (and summer plans in December). By thinking ahead like a project manager, we knew when the vacation planning needed to start to ensure we could execute.
Now when we look back, we revel in the experiences we were able to have because this clearly defined role made the process smooth and efficient.
4. Celebrated milestones and success
In the business world, celebrating milestones and achievements is crucial for boosting morale and motivation.
Public recognition. Team awards and certificates and bonuses and incentives. You get the picture.
Celebrating wins in a business environment is not only important to recognize achievement and boost morale, but it also encourages further innovation and builds a sense of community.
Likewise, celebrating milestones in your personal relationships is equally important — anniversaries, individual accomplishments, parenting wins, overcoming challenges together, and so on. Celebrating these moments cultivates a sense of appreciation and reinforces the value of your partner.
The results
It took a bit of time — and a lot of hard work, commitment, and dedication — but something surprising happened to us within a few quarters (business meets personal again!).
These frameworks freed us. We had a structure that reduced stress and friction and gave us emotional space. Leading with data, we engaged the heart.
Over the years, some of our relationship processes have become so ingrained that we no longer track them. Date nights became like breathing.
Love and metrics may not seem like a natural pairing at first glance, but it doesn’t take an executive to see the value in applying metrics, measurements, and rigor to whatever matters in your life.
The goal is never numbers for numbers’ sake but rather a way to challenge ourselves to do more.
To be remarkable.
Till next time,
Andy Byrne
CEO, Clari
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